I learned a new word. MATRESCENCE. It means the process of becoming a mother. For some reason it feels so validating to have a word for it. It’s that transition period nobody talks about between pregnancy and postpartum. Where I’d never felt so certain that I was in the right place at the right time and, yet, I wasn’t quite sure who “I” was anymore. With each birth, all four of them, I have felt the discomfort. The inadequacy as I learn how to care for another human & the newfound confidence as I somehow survive it all, some days even thriving / the confusion of what I should be doing hour by hour & the total clarity of my mission to care for this baby / the insecurity as I look at the extra skin and broken veins & the acceptance as I embrace being more than a body / the isolation as I hold a crying baby in the middle of the night & the sense of freedom as I realize how few things truly matter.
So. Many. Feelings. And we’re going to explore them all. Our #motheryourself theme for May is identity in motherhood. Please join me on Instagram live each Thursday as I give tips and coaching for trusting yourself through your matrescence.
+ Has the process of becoming a mother been challenging for you and you don’t quite know why? Stop everything and read this NYT article.
+ Make a goal to journal every day this month. Even if it’s only a sentence in the notepad on your phone.
+ Make a list of 25 things you want that you already have.
+ Then make a list of 25 things that you want. Could be anything from “more laughter” to “a new house”.
+ Read this woman’s postpartum identity crisis and how she got through it.
+ Take this free Myers-Briggs personality test. Your day to day might look different as a mother but who you are is probably more the same than you realize.
+ For Mother’s Day take some time for yourself. Could be an hour, an evening, a day or a weekend, but dedicating time to your relationship with yourself is the best thing you could do for your family.
+ Listen to the audio version of Michelle Obama’s book Becoming.